Frustration…

frus·tra·tion
frəˈstrāSH(ə)n/
noun
  1. the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.
    “I sometimes feel like screaming with frustration”
    synonyms: exasperationannoyanceangervexationirritation

    • an event or circumstance that causes one to have a feeling of frustration.
      plural noun: frustrations
      “the inherent frustrations of assembly line work”
  2. the prevention of the progress, success, or fulfillment of something.
    “the frustration of their wishes”
    synonyms: thwarting, defeatprevention, foiling, blocking, spoiling, circumvention, forestalling, disappointmentderailment

    According to the dictionary.

    I struggle to deal with frustration – there seems to be so much of it lately and all I want to do is throw in the towel and call it quits.  When it seems like all I do is bang my head on the wall, it’s easy to think this way.  I keep forging ahead but I feel like I’m swimming in mud, against the current, neck deep…

    frustration

    So how do we talk about what’s frustrating us without those around accusing us of “whining”?  I find THAT frustrating as well!  Sometimes you just need to vent, get it off your chest, scream, yell or whatever, but when you do the world starts telling you to “suck it up, put your big girl panties on and deal with it or stop whining”.  Why are we not allowed to express our frustrations without being made to feel guilty about it?  I get tired of always having to put on happy face when I feel anything but.  Life can be so unfair at times and it can feel like every time you stand up after being pushed down you get pushed down yet again.  And again… and again…

    So what do you do?  Do others accuse you of whining when all you want to do is just have someone listen so you can get it off your chest and maybe help you see things in a different light?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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So… it’s been a while

Yeah, I know… I’ve said it before and this time it’s been 3 years.  Insecurity keeps me from jumping in writing on a more regular basis.  I think that nobody will really be interested in what I have to say.  But I’ll give it a try again.

So – what’s up?  Today I’m trying to give my bazaar set up a make over as it looks boring, boring, boring this year.  I have a new tent with a white top and combined with the white table covers makes my display look sterile.  I don’t think I’m displaying my goods to their best advantage either.  I am trying to do this with things I already have on hand – between left over shop displays and fiber fest set up materials I think I can do it.  My biggest problem is keeping it simple.  I’m prone to over doing it.  My other problem – procrastination… I’m prone to that, too.  Am I working on my set up?  No… I’m writing a blog!

If they would have had ADD, ADHD and all those other designations back when I was in grade school I’m sure they would have put me on meds.  I’m not hyperactive, but I am very easily distracted.  Somehow I managed to make it through school with decent grades without them (except for that sewing class in 7th grade – that’s another story) and in spite of a 2nd or 3rd grade teacher telling my parents and the school principle I was “retarded”.  This was back when you could still use that label.  She humiliated me in front of my classmates because I did not finish a handout on time and sent me to the principles office.  I cried.  I was already suspect with my classmates because I was the new kid – having moved there in the middle of the school year and that just gave them all the more reason to give me a hard time.  It was a miserable year.  The teacher did not want me in her classroom, even after testing showed there was nothing  wrong with me, I was just ahead of the other students.  Back then there were no advanced classes or programs for gifted and talented kids.  I was just bored.

I think boredom can be a problem for most creative people.  Our minds tend to wander all over the place looking for that next bit of inspiration or that tantalizing new technique to try.  At one time or another I’ve tried all kinds of creative outlets – painting, drawing, ceramics, jewelry making, stained glass art, journaling, card making, quilting, weaving, knitting, print making, crochet, netting, embroidery, beading, counted thread work, dyeing, spinning – you get the idea.  I am constantly lured by pretty colors of yarn, heck, pretty colors and patterns of just about everything!  My mind loves to wander – which is not always a good thing.  It’s like a computer with too many tabs open at one time and I have a hard time concentrating on any one thing.  I get anxious and depressed when I can’t focus and get something done.  I am trying to spin too many plates.  I have tried to become more disciplined in recent years weeding out the excess outlets and focusing on what I can do and love to do in the space that I have available.  But it’s hard – I want to do it all even though I know I can’t.  I could, but I wouldn’t be doing anything well and that’s important to me too.  I want to do what I do well.

 

Cha… Cha… Cha… Changes…

Looks like it’s job hunt time once again – sigh… I dislike hunting for jobs – I really do. The job market around here is so very bad unless you’re a truck driver, nurse or have production and manufacturing skills. I qualify for none of those so what to do. Need to put my thinking cap on and see if there is something I can do that uses the skills I have and would love to use to make a career out of.

Yeah, it’s been a while…

Sometimes I think I’ve got nothing to say and so keep my thoughts to myself.  So, while you’re waiting, if you’re waiting…

back soon

Depression Lies…

If you or a loved one suffer from depression – watch this video by Jenny.

http://thebloggess.com/2012/04/depression-lies/#comment-179703

Adventures in Kitty Wrangling

 
So, cat A, Mr. Bugby, decides to chase cat B, Friskie, who runs away, jumps up on my desk, manages to step on the only sharp object there, puncturing her right front paw, who continues to run, now oozing gobs of blood everywhere, leaving me to catch cat B, who decides she doesn’t want to be caught and sinks her claws and bloody paw into my arm, scratches ensue, finally get a good grip on ballistic cat who’s continuing to bleed all over me and everything else, I scream for help while pinning down ballistic cat, help arrives, stiptic powder is applied to paw while cat sinks teeth into arm, I’m scrambling to get a better grip, first aid finally applied, the cat is released and said cat is now calm.  Me?  I’m still applying carpet cleaner to get up all the blood… you’d think I had nothing better to do…

Sometimes you just need a laugh…

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