Not so good english…

You know – if you REALLY want me to come work for your company, don’t you think you can do better than send me an offer like this:

Our company have stumbled upon your information in occupation hunting site.  We conjecture, that you seem the perfect contender for our free post with changeable hours.  The extent of stipend is $500 per week.  A fairly open agenda of labour.
The main stipulations:
• Mature, uninhibited
• Have computer, utilize MS Word
• Subject of United States of America
• Age 18+
• Procurable by telephone and by e-mail
• Have 2-3 hours with time to spare per day, the inconstant hours, a chance to amalgamate with the other trade.
If you are interested by our proposition, answer by e-mail to this letter.

I’m especially interested in the “chance to amalgamate with the other trade.”  Sounds, uh… interesting?  And on the same day, another unusual offer – I’m guessing from the same folks who sent me the above proposition:

Aloha
Our company have found your outline in help wanted site.
We guess, that you appear the perfect aspirant for our occasional occupation.
The quantity of salary is $500 per week.
A versatile calendar of service.
The principal demands:
• Mature, uninhibited
• Have computer, can handle MS Word
• National of United States of America
• Age 18+
• Handy by telephone and by e-mail
• Have 2-3 hours unencumbered per day, the fluctuating hours, a chance to amalgamate with the other post.

There’s that word amalgamate again… my guess is the original author(s) don’t speak English and when translating from their language to mine the above is what it ends up as.   So, whoever you are, thanks for the offer, but no thanks – I’m not interested in amalgamating with you or anyone else in your trade.

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